


What Happens Now?

by Seblainer



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Points of View
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-21
Updated: 2007-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 15:02:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12796929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seblainer/pseuds/Seblainer
Summary: Justin's thoughts at the end of season 5. Sequel to: 'The Way Things Are.'





	What Happens Now?

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

Justin’s POV

 

I feel like screaming, as I look around my apartment. New York is a cold, lonely place. I hate Brian for pushing me off yet another cliff. I’ve still never forgiven him for pushing me off the first cliff, and toward Ethan.

 

I miss my friends and family, but most of all, I miss Brian. I actually just got off the phone with the asshole himself. When I demanded to know why he let me leave, his answer floored me.

 

It shouldn’t have, but honestly, it did. Brian told me that he loved me too much to let me stay in Pittsburgh. He said that I would be wasting my talents, and he didn’t want that to happen.

 

Brian also told me, that if I hadn’t come out here to New York, then I would have ended up resenting him. I know he’s right, and I hate it. I hate not being able to see Brian.

 

I hate not being able to wake up with him next to me. God. Why did the review have to come out just when things between us were going so great? We were going to get married, damn it!

 

Just when things were the best they have ever been, bam! I realize now, that I’ve been a fool. Actually, I’m worse than a fool, I’m an idiot. I thought that Michael and Lindsay had finally accepted me as a part of Brian’s life, as a part of the 'family.'

 

I guess I was just lying to myself. I mean, how could I trust Michael again, after he broke his word to me during the time that Brian had cancer? I should have known better, but still I believed him.

 

My mother says I’m too fucking trusting, and now I realize that she’s right. I thought that Michael and Lindsay had gotten past their grudges with me, or whatever their problems with me were, but I guess not.

 

For some reason, I have the feeling that the two of them were ecstatic to see me go. I wish that the two of them would grow up, and get over their little fantasies of being with Brian.

 

Brian has told me on numerous occasions that he is never, going to fuck Michael. So he better grow up, and appreciate the family that he does have. I mean come on, Michael has a great family.

 

He has Ben, Hunter, Jenny, and Debbie. Sure, Vic is no longer around, but it’s not like he could help it. Michael has everything in the world, and he would throw it all away, on his fantasy of Brian.

 

The same thing goes for Lindsay. She has Melanie, Gus, and Jenny. She has the Liberty Avenue gang when she needs them, and a great job and house in Toronto. Yet Lindsay is still not happy.

 

Well, I have only one thing to say to Michael and Lindsay. They better watch their backs. It has taken me five years to get Brian to open up to me, and love me. I’m not going to let them ruin it for Brian and me.

 

As all these thoughts go through my mind, I stare at my latest painting, which sits on the easel. Setting down my paint brush, I grab the towel that’s lying on the floor, and wipe my hands with it.

 

Tossing the towel back on the floor a few moments later, I turn back to my painting. It’s an abstract. The springs show just how out of control my life feels right now. 

 

How one spring begins, and instead of ending, another spring pops up, and continues to go from there. My life feels like that. I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster, and I never know when it’s going to end.

 

The colors symbolize my moods. The yellow represents happiness, the blue represents sadness, the red represents anger, and the green represents my confusion. 

 

Sure, it may seem small, but in reality, it's that feeling that's in control. It's bigger than the other feelings combined. Basically the green is saying, 'just because I'm small, doesn't mean I'm not the most important part.' 

 

Lately my world feels like a ocean of confusion, and I can’t feel the ground beneath my feet. I want to feel grounded, and the only way I can get that, is with Brian. 

 

I love him, but I also love to paint. I need to call Brian back, and talk to him some more. We need to work something out. I can’t stand not knowing how things are going to be. 

 

The constant question in my mind is the ever nagging ‘What do we do now?' I can’t stand feeling uncertain. I’ve felt that way too often for my liking, in the last five years. 

 

Picking up my cell phone, I dial his number. Brian picks up on the first ring. “I thought that you would be sleeping by now.” Hearing his voice again, makes me smile. 

 

“I’m not tired. Actually, I just finished a painting.” Brian laughs. Then he says “So, the artiste has decided to forego sleep? You’re much braver than me, Sunshine.”

 

I laugh softly, as he continues. “Now me, I need at least 5 hours of sleep, or I don’t function properly.” Before Brian can say anything else, I cut in. “What happens now?”

 

Brian is silent for a moment, and then he speaks. “We make things work for us the way we want them to. Love you, Sunshine.” Then I hear the dial tone, and I can’t help but smile. 

 

The End.


End file.
